Who knew?

Before we moved, I spent a great deal of time fearing the long and dreary Dutch Winter. I spent a certain amount of time learning more than is strictly healty about things like gore tex and thinsulate. I considered the longevity of felted wool. Looked at snow boots and snow suits.

Well, it turns out I have not yet needed any of that. My winter has been navigated witht he assistance of my mother in law. Here is the Imparted Wisdom of the ages:

Wear shoes which come up over your ankle.They need not be padded nor even leather. They do need to be high. This is probably becasue Dutch Puddles are tricky little bastards which look about two drops deep and turn out to be the Return of the Zuider Zee in Technicolor. * Some of them have things living in them. Some of them have things living in them which have raised families and gone to Disney World.

Lined pants. Preferably flannel lined pants. Nel actually eschews these as designed for weaklings and hothouse flowers. But recommended them for me. Hothouse flowers, raise your tendrils.

Undershirts (camisoles for the femme amoung us). It does not matter what these are made of, actually. But they must be long enough to tuck in. You have never actually felt wind until you have felt it cut right through your clothes into your belly.

Gloves.

A down vest is lovely if you can get your husband to buy it for you.**

For heaven's sake put something on your head. Again, Nel does not ever actually wear anything on her head. Instead, when Nel is cold, I have to put something on my head. This logic works for me, I use it with my own children after all.

I have not yet entirely converted to the more core parts of the Imparted Wisdom, such as keeping your bedroom window open at night. This has, I understand, all kinds of salubrious effects. However, since it would lead to my naked feet being placed on a floor which has been in -10 degree weather all night***, and since the only really appropriate follow up to that I can think of is leaping from the roof in despair, I have not yet tried it.

I am given to understand that the Real Winter is on its way. However, they were also forecasting the Real Winter last month, so we shall see. Nel is hoping for a good long freeze, as she says that it keeps illness at bay and kills off bugs. Probably it does. But it can still stay away for all of me.

*The Zuider Zee is a former sea. It does not exist any more; it is now rolling farmland surrounding a rather nice lake. What a Dutch guy can do with a pump.

** This is not the Imparted Wisdom of the ages; this is an in joke I could not resist. Its target should be along any time now. Nel thinks down is for pillows and bed coverings.

*** -10 celcius, which is, um, pretty damn cold in Farenheit. Somebody ask my dad to do the conversion, he can do it in his head. If I could do simple arithmetic, I would have gotten an honest job rahter than resortign to chicanery and smoke and mirrors to eke out a living.