Well, way back in October, for those who have not heard this tale of woe, we had a meeting with the school of my eldest child in which they asked us to have him tested by a neurologist because he was clearly autistic. After much emotional sturm und drang we did so. I did not then nor have I ever thought that he was anywhere near the universe of the autistic spectrum. However, his behavior at school was undeniably odd. He is undeniably an odd child.
So the result of this round of testing was this: He is not in fact anywhere in the universe of the autistic spectrum. He has a speech disorder (we knew this from the last round of testing in the States so it was not a surprise). Otherwise he is a very odd little boy with no apparent neurological problems. Though he had an EEG, and there is a hospital somewhere with an EEG of a very frightened little boy -- further results will have to wait until March, when we have another appointment with the neurologist. But he does not expect to find anything, this is more a ruling out than a search for knowlege.
So we had another appointment with the school folks last week-ish. Now they want to run another series of tests. This time they want to test his intelligence. No one has any doubt that he is a smart kid. They want to know just how smart; they think this is why they cannot do anything with him.
That is, maybe he's a genius and that's why he's odd. Uh-huh. Well, I have my experience with the myth of the gifted, and I suspect that if he doesn't score like a little future Edison, then we'll be back at square one.
I have my doubts about what useful information can be gleaned from intelligence testing, at least one test of which is verbally based, on a child with a speech disorder. Who has also had rather a lot of upheaval in his life in the past few months. I am repeatedly assured that this cannot be the root of his behavior, that children are resilient and so on. Maybe. But my children have each been alive exactly as long as I have -- they have been alive every day since they were born.
And my own experience suggests that the number of days lived does not dictate the complexity of response to events during those days.
And some part of me just wants to know why he can't just be a rather odd person.
6 comments:
Hey, you -
I like reading about your little Houdini, so here seems as good a place to post as any. Thanks for sharing the link with me.
I'm sure you know you won't be getting to the bottom of
things any time soon, because, well, you know what they say about still waters and all. "Gifted" is probably a better label than some others I can think of. And while some kids might get added pressure from a label like that, I think in Douwe's case it might just do just the opposite.
What are your testing options? Over here, I don't have much to go by. Germans are in the Stone Age when it comes to giftedness.
Your boys are cute enough to eat, BTW.
Leah
Hi, Jennifer,
Well, if you look below, you'll see that at least one other person had the same confusion. And if you had been here when I was trying to set the thing up, you might have found out how many languages I really can swear in. Who knew the pictures would come up so big?
Daan. Well, let's see. He screams like he is being tortured when he doesn't get his way, except that he never can figure out which way actually is his way, so he ends up screaming anyway. He does not share and spends most of his time declaring that whatever Douwe has is really his and he wants it right now. He doesn't eat enough to support life except when he eats enough to support any three children. He never wants to go to bed.
You know, he's three, that's how he is.
Hello, there you right back
As was pointed out to me by a wise person, we can probably live with genius, as opposed to the original theory. It's the exreme-ness of the reaction that bugs me -- whoops, he isn't autistic (the less than 1%), he must be the next Edison (the less than 1%).
My basic problem really is that it's the same person who sent him to the neurologist to "have her diagnosis confirmed" *ahem* and who now thinks he's some kind of little freaky genius who would actually be doing the testing. And interpreting the results. *erahem*
My current plan is to hold off till we see the neurologist again and ask him to refer the child for *appropriate* testing thus taking it neatly out of those particular hands.
Nah, I don't have an attitude or anything. Never have had. Bwah ha ha.
The system here is stymied by his age. I am told there are a number of public schools which cater to the (for want of a better translation) gifted. But they don't start until group 3 as I understand it; Douwe is now in group 1. They are not supposed to be this odd this early, lol. I am also planning to look at some other kinds of pedagogical approaches, as they have said clearly enough that they just don't know how to handle him, and it's a group 1/2 classroom, so he will end up with exactly the same folks next year if I do nothing.
But mostly I am going to be looking around as I confess I know next to nothing about schooling options and nobody's being real forthcoming about any options other than the ones they want me to take.
Hi, alien,
You now, I do trust the medical community. The irony is that this child is five years old and has been tested now six times by various persons. And every time I get to a real live doc person, they go "Oh, yeah, I see what they are talking about, but you know he's just, you know, his own person I think". Then they all toss off that one about Einstein being seven or eight before he was fluent in his native language. (Nobody ever asked Einstein's mother what she thought about it, I bet).
So as I am being lectured by the, er, special ed director for this school district (translation issues but that's the closest cognate) about the depths of my denial and so on and I am being nice and keeping my temper (my mother would be so proud) I just keep remembering that the people who actually know something agree mostly with me. So far. So at least I am not alone in my denial.
It's just the extremity of the reactions that bothers me. From one pole to another we go, if he isn't this pole then he has to be that pole. And you know what? I think he's unusual too. But he isn't that freaking unusual -- he isn't one in a million billion unusual, he's more like one in a couple hundred thousand unusual.
Or so it seems to me. In any event, as I say, I am not opposed to testing if I think it will be useful; and the neurologist has been most sensible. So when we see him in a month or so I expect I'll ask what he suggests.
I need somebody familiar with the local terrain to help me out, so much is clear. Trying to figure all this out in a school system about which I know nothing and in which the very terms for things are in a language I did not learn until I was well over thirty does not make this any easier. I just got here, how am I supposed to figure out the school system in six months?
Mary J:
Tell your friends that they are looking at the wrong boys to come visit in Holland, as my brother in law and your betrothed is still single.
LOL
Hello, Carol my dear,
That's the thing, I think it actually was you who pointed out that Douwe's, er, individual-ness was probably just a desperate effort at survival in such a family. Though I am sure you said it more tactfully, lol.
I do hope that book is on amazon.uk, sounds like my kind of book.
Do you *have* any other odd friends? My, I can't think of any.
/loving sarcasm off
Still considering the gardening thing, but it's sort of germinating as it were so I'll fill you in on it soon.
Jeannine
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