Now, of course, I can't get him to take it off.
Monday, October 31, 2005
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
While I was on the phone
With my mother yesterday, Douwe came in to interrupt me several times. Daan did not. So after I hung up I went to investigate his absence. I found him in the bathroom washing his hands. And the counter and the floor and everything else. With three kinds of soap and a very guilty look.
Further examination revealed a red something or other on his fingers which would not come off with soap. And on his face.
Forensic evidence suggested that Daan has acquired the fine motor skills needed to open a bottle of fingernail polish. I asked him if he had it in his mouth and he said, "No, I drank the water. It was icky,". His teeth and tongue were clean but his breath was sort of, I don't know, flowery.
So I went to clean by the bed (which was a lovely shade of Red Coat Red) and found the empty bottle of top coat. Most of which was on the floor, but I believe in forensic evidence. And by this time Daan was admitting to having kidnapped the Lindburgh Baby and denying that he had feet in his efforts to give us the answer we wanted to hear.
Did you know that there is no Poison Control number in Holland? Well, actually there is but it isn't available to the public. So I called the hospital where the man said he had to be brought in so they could look and see if he had actually swallowed the stuff since I was not sure either way. Mostly, he said, children do not actually swallow fingernail polish as it tastes icky. (Uh-huh, that's what Daan said, mister).
I asked what they were planning to look at exactly and got no answer. I mean, you cannot exactly see fingernail polish on an x ray can you? And I suppose acetone would show up on a blood test eventually but by then it might be, er, too late, it seems to me.
So off went Daan to the hospital for scientific testing where they decided they couldn't tell either. And they diagnosed him with being the cutest thing ever, he was apparently flirting with everyine in sight and being generally full of piss and vinegar. Happily, the top coat has not got acetone or any other horribles in it (which the doctor found out by calling poison control, grrr). So they said that even if he had swallowed the whole bottle he ought to be all right, gave him a balloon and sent him home.
Further examination revealed a red something or other on his fingers which would not come off with soap. And on his face.
Forensic evidence suggested that Daan has acquired the fine motor skills needed to open a bottle of fingernail polish. I asked him if he had it in his mouth and he said, "No, I drank the water. It was icky,". His teeth and tongue were clean but his breath was sort of, I don't know, flowery.
So I went to clean by the bed (which was a lovely shade of Red Coat Red) and found the empty bottle of top coat. Most of which was on the floor, but I believe in forensic evidence. And by this time Daan was admitting to having kidnapped the Lindburgh Baby and denying that he had feet in his efforts to give us the answer we wanted to hear.
Did you know that there is no Poison Control number in Holland? Well, actually there is but it isn't available to the public. So I called the hospital where the man said he had to be brought in so they could look and see if he had actually swallowed the stuff since I was not sure either way. Mostly, he said, children do not actually swallow fingernail polish as it tastes icky. (Uh-huh, that's what Daan said, mister).
I asked what they were planning to look at exactly and got no answer. I mean, you cannot exactly see fingernail polish on an x ray can you? And I suppose acetone would show up on a blood test eventually but by then it might be, er, too late, it seems to me.
So off went Daan to the hospital for scientific testing where they decided they couldn't tell either. And they diagnosed him with being the cutest thing ever, he was apparently flirting with everyine in sight and being generally full of piss and vinegar. Happily, the top coat has not got acetone or any other horribles in it (which the doctor found out by calling poison control, grrr). So they said that even if he had swallowed the whole bottle he ought to be all right, gave him a balloon and sent him home.
General update
I think I am going to just stop mentioning my extended absences. You know I am a slacker, I know I am a slacker, what's the point?
In the time of my absence, I have had strep throat (thank you, Daan my darling, but I could have gone all year without that little gift) which turned into my annual (apparently) sinus infection. I knew you are supposed to be surprised by how much you turn out to be turning into you own mother, but that particular wrinkle I admit I had not expected. I expected to hear myself say "Don't make me come over there", for example. I did not expect to move a couple thousand miles away only to discover that I was horribly allergic to something in my new locale. I am, after all, not allergic to anything. Er, was not allergic...
I don't know what it is; I suspect I may be allergic to dry air since the damn thing kicks in as soon as the heat goes on.
Nel has been having back pain for some time, which she tried to bull her way through for about a week but which finally won out, so she is sort of out of the game just now. It is bad enough that she spent an entire day indoors, which is I believe a first in my experience of living with Nel.
Paul bought a new computer game, which accounts for part of my absence recently, those of you whose spouses are occasionally seized with the need to sit for hours and hours before a computer screen killing digital monsters of various kinds need no further explanation.
And we have had Douwe's birthday of course. Pictures to follow. Some kind person gave him two Yu-Gi-Oh videos, so he is now running around with his two Yu Gi Oh cards (which come in the videos) playing pretend Duel Mosters with a pretend opponent. Sometimes with Daan, who defiantly slaps down any squarish object to mount his apparently blistering counterattacks.
In the time of my absence, I have had strep throat (thank you, Daan my darling, but I could have gone all year without that little gift) which turned into my annual (apparently) sinus infection. I knew you are supposed to be surprised by how much you turn out to be turning into you own mother, but that particular wrinkle I admit I had not expected. I expected to hear myself say "Don't make me come over there", for example. I did not expect to move a couple thousand miles away only to discover that I was horribly allergic to something in my new locale. I am, after all, not allergic to anything. Er, was not allergic...
I don't know what it is; I suspect I may be allergic to dry air since the damn thing kicks in as soon as the heat goes on.
Nel has been having back pain for some time, which she tried to bull her way through for about a week but which finally won out, so she is sort of out of the game just now. It is bad enough that she spent an entire day indoors, which is I believe a first in my experience of living with Nel.
Paul bought a new computer game, which accounts for part of my absence recently, those of you whose spouses are occasionally seized with the need to sit for hours and hours before a computer screen killing digital monsters of various kinds need no further explanation.
And we have had Douwe's birthday of course. Pictures to follow. Some kind person gave him two Yu-Gi-Oh videos, so he is now running around with his two Yu Gi Oh cards (which come in the videos) playing pretend Duel Mosters with a pretend opponent. Sometimes with Daan, who defiantly slaps down any squarish object to mount his apparently blistering counterattacks.
Jozet, tell the truth now
This really was written by your spouse, wasn't it?
Thought so.
Seriously, scroll down and read the whole thing, the Q&A is just hysterical.
Thought so.
Seriously, scroll down and read the whole thing, the Q&A is just hysterical.
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