Urg

Okay, so I have not had the best parenting morning of all time. You know, most of the time I do a fairly good job I think. But there are some things that make me just nuts.

Today is the Carnaval parade for te kids' school. So they go to school dressed up, just like they do for Halloween in the states I suppose. They have been talking about it all week. They want to wear this, they want to wear that. So they got up, hurrah, we get to wear the costumes to school. All is well.

Then half way through getting dressed, Douwe decides tht he doesn't want to after all. Thus ensues much moaning crying and objecting and arguing and claiming to be sick. (Though he is getting older, so this time no actual lying on the ground and kicking. Must remember to be grateful for progress).

Why? I dunno. He doesn't know. But it happens a lot with him -- he wants to do something, whateve rit may be. He wants to do it a lot. Then at the penultimate moment, *shrug*. He doesn't want to any more. The problem is this: at the ultimate moment, he wants to do it a lot. He always, without exception, is happy when it happens, and before it happens. But just as it is about to happen he hates it.

Which places me in the position of cajoling, wheedling, and sometimes bullying and dragging him into it by main force. All of which I do so that he can have a good time.

And afterward he doesn't even really recall the wheedling/cajoling/bullying/dragging by main force part. He only remembers the fun part.

But sometimes, in the moment you understand, I wonder why I am working this hard to force him to have a good time.

And yes, mom, I do have some, oh, vague recollection that perhaps very long ago and far away in another place and time there might have once been some other child who did exactly the same thing. I do remember. (Though I realize that I never kicked and screamed and threw a fit, My Mother's Children Would Never. It is a difference in degree I think but not in kind),

But it doesn't help, I didn't know why I did it then; I don't know why I did it then, now.

But I am glad you didn't just drown me in the sink and hope to follow that example.