Too much

I am beginning to hate holidays. And, despite much moaning about them in my wayward youth, I have to say that in general I actually quite like them. My kids are a good age for them; they still believe in Santa and the Easter Bunny and they don't peer around very suspiciously about it. Which may also be fun in its own way. But I haven't had it yet.

However, I am beginning to see a new trend. It goes like this. I say "So, what do you guys do for >fill in holiday here<"?". The answer is generally, "Nothing, just the usual,". I point out that I have not the tiniest clue what the usual might be. Everyone looks surprised, like it is news to my nearest and dearest that I am not Dutch, did not grow up in Holland, and well, have not the tiniest clue. Then everyone says, "Oh, well, you know, we eat,". Good. You eat. Mostly, I eat several times a day. So, I ask, what do you eat for >insert holiday here<? And what do I hear? Yep, got it in one: "Oh, nothing, the usual,".

Uh huh. Being a persistent kind of person, I continue this conversation for some time, and the end result boils down to "Don't go to any trouble, do what you always do, why do you always make things so hard?". Some day, y'all, I am actually going to take their word for it and do nothing and won't everybody be surprised when we actually do nothing?

Whereupon I of course go shopping. I dislike shopping in general, but shopping for holidays is pretty good fun. So I come home with my purchases whereupon everyone says it is too much. Far too much. Too many sweets are not good and too many toys are a threat to all that is good. Must be an American thing, this buying of too much.

So I put away my too much where the children cannot find it. On the eve of the holiday, I bring the too much out (or what is left of it since both of the adult parties involved have surreptitiously been giving bits of it to my children in the mean time, which I firmly Do Not Notice) and say, "You know, since this is obviously too much and I lack a really good sense of what is appropriate why don't you guys sort through this stuff and show me what would be about right?"

Whereupon everyone brings out all the other stuff they have bought in the mean time and my kids end up with three times more than too much. Everyone then heartily agrees that it was much better back in the day when all the children got was an extra measure of butter in their gruel for holidays and so on. My Spouse pretends not to remember anything about holidays when he was a child (whether this is because they also had too much and he doesn't want to admit it or whether this is because the absence of too much is the reason it was not memorable, I have no idea and have no plans to speculate. Out loud.)

The the holiday comes and everybody has a really great time with the too much stuff. everybody talks about how great it was. The children go to bed sated and exhausted. We all sit happily round the family room while Dearly Beloved brings out a bottle of red wine or sherry, whichever you like.

The one voice (never you mind who, nosy) speaks into the companiable quiet: "It just all seems like too much. But I guess *sigh* everyone has to do it their own way,".

As answering there might be impolitic, I shall answer here, then:

Well, my sister always said I was too much.